Salaam.
I don't know about you, but I have this biggest struggle (okay probably one out of many) that many people and I, myself, dislike. I don't like doing it, I don't like getting the same treatment, and I dislike the fact that I sometimes, unintentionally, do it too.
I'm talking about, being judgemental.
I commend my mind's creativity in making up stories and thinking miles ahead but really, it gets so frustrating to have all these bad thoughts concocting in your brain about other people without having to put any effort, which usually aren't real at all and were only made based on appearance. Only after reaching a conclusion, would I pat myself on the back for that genius assumption, and suddenly it would dawn on me, ya Allah what have I done?
I honestly hate myself for doing it. And the worst thing is, it is usually beyond my control, and I'd only remember to stop myself a few minutes or seconds after I've started on judging that person, which means it has become a habit of mine which really is so horrible. Not to mention, due to this problem I have, I committed a grave mistake just last week, involving my family members and I still feel so bad (probably till forever) no matter how much I apologised.
Being judgemental isn't awesome at all! And it sure won't impress Allah, definitely :(
So I devised a plan to help with this awful habit of mine and I've applied this method a handful of times, and alhamdulillah, it works quite well. This is how it goes. Let me create a fictional situation to help me explain better.
So I walk into Kinokuniya, I go straight ahead to my favourite section. I pick up a book, analyse the summary and as I am reading, I hear a girl complaining to her boyfriend *ONE : It might be her husband*. I turn to catch a glimpse and I see him frowning, groaning from all the heavy load of shopping bags and her huge handbag in his arms. I think to myself, why can't she at least carry her own handbag? *TWO : He might have insisted, despite her refusals*. She turns around and I can see what she's wearing, she wears the hijab but I can see every single curve on her body *THREE : She maybe has just started learning about hijab, and doesn't know that we're not supposed to show our curves too*. And as I am coming to the fourth judgement, suddenly my conscience steps in.
"Besides all those things you thought about her, which probably are all lies, she might have succeeded in performing tahajjud prayer every single night while you're asleep. Without fail. Unlike someone I know."
*SLAP SLAP*
The super brilliant chirpy mind seconds ago, suddenly goes silent, humiliated.
K.
As much as I hope it is, this isn't magic so it comes with a lot of practice. Sometimes my conscience goes on a little vacation without telling me and I'll go on and on judging others, making up stories as far as their non-existent grandchildren and only before I sleep, would I remember OMG I just did it again *cries silently* but alhamdulillah, it comes easier. As long as I stop immediately as soon as my conscience reminds me to, it should come to my rescue quicker than before insha Allah.
If you have other ways to overcome this problem, please do share :)
Okay gotta go study for my test tomorrow. Take care!
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